In the heart of a pandemic

The world around me is changing so fast that I can barely catch up.

Two weeks ago, I stocked up on supplies for something that seemed a million miles away from me. The world was going on like it always does - work, chores, exercise, friends, homework, sunsets. The news is always bad, and the shrieks of "coronavirus! coronavirus!" made last week seem worse, but it still seemed like some far off thing.

A week ago, I had coronavirus symptoms and made call after call to get checked out, to no avail. It seemed a LOT more personal and real then. But then I got better, and, under my doctor's orders, I returned to week (72 hours after fever subsided).

And then on Wednesday, we got an announcement that my daughter's district was shutting down for "at least" two weeks. Next, an announcement at my school's staff meeting that we too were shutting down.

Today, the students came to school to get instructions about the plans, to turn in missing work, to have one last day before "vacation." And then, towards the end of the school day, the rumors started flying, soon confirmed, that Governor Jay Inslee of Washington State had closed all K-12 schools until April 24th.

When the kids were told that they had two weeks off, there were audible cheers. When we told them they wouldn't be back until almost the beginning of May, they were stunned and quiet.

This feels more real than when I got sick.

My daughter and I are home together, wondering what this will be like. I've read articles about social distancing - what does it REALLY mean? Does it mean we stay in our house, just the two of us, leaving only for groceries and dog walks? Or can we have visits with one or two friends?

In the midst of this, the news keeps happening. Courthouses closing; trials delayed due to lack of jurors, Restaurants of some acclaim - like those owned by Tom Douglass - closing until this passes because of lack of business. Libraries and community centers closing due to the risks of infection. We are being begged not to go to the ER because hospitals will be over capacity. My local Trader Joe's was cleaned out (I read it in the Seattle Times; I didn't go there today).

The toilet paper memes don't seem so funny at the moment. How long are we going to be down and out? What will happen to the employees of so many businesses that have been sent home? What will happen to the local small businesses with no employees, no customers? The news is filled with information about homeless shelters, evictions, children who won't have access to school breakfast and lunch the way they usually do. (Seattle Schools has set up 25 sites for those free meals. I wonder how the children will get there. My district across the lake has set up 2 sites. Is it enough?)

Those who were down on their luck are much more so now.

The para-educators and not certificated staff in my building are paid hourly. With school closed, their future is uncertain. What will they do?

If this goes long term, will my paychecks remain regular? I have a contract, but what are the rules for this kind of natural disaster?

Reykdal (the superintendent of OSPI, the governing body of all schools) made comments that this could go into fall. Fall? Really?

A couple of weeks ago, I saw this as enough of a possibility to go grocery shopping and get more than usual, but I felt silly doing so. I've eaten some of it since then, and replenished some of it.

Now I'm wondering if I bought enough.

***

Light moments (because there are always light moments, even in darkness):

My daughter required me to purchase back-up brownie mix. Because in an emergency, we must have brownie access!

I'm kind of excited at the idea of getting regular outdoor exercise during daylight hours. It seems like this is a good time to build new habits, and now that I've lost 15 pounds on Weight Watchers but I'm not sick, I'm more than ready. The dog is ecstatic at this idea.

I'm going to catch up on my grading at last!

***

There are pockets of light, but no joke, this is scary and feels unreasonable and uncontrolled and unsteady and unacceptable.

And I'm one of the lucky ones, in my warm and safe home, surrounded by friends in the neighborhood, with my health, my secure job, my pantry overstocked with food. If I'm scared, I know that others are quaking.

Be healthy, everyone. Be well. I send my love. We'll get through this, even when it's rocky. Somehow!